Margari… Not Having It

Where do I begin with this date; lets call him Nicholas. So we met at a Mexican restaurant because I really wanted a margarita. I was completely caught off guard when this dude started to talk.. his voice.. sounded like a girl. INSTANT TURN OFF. All he talked about was all the other Tinder dates he went on and how there never was a second or how weird the girl was. I should have taken that as a sign & RUN.

You know the margarita I wanted… well I took one sip & then the Nicholas spilled my drink all over me. I look like I peed myself. (Rolling my eyes) The whole time he is just laughing & thinks its the funniest thing in the world. I asked the waitress if they had a blow dryer in the bathroom…  I don’t know if the embarrassing part was him spilling my drink or the waitress coming into the bathroom and asking if the guy was my boyfriend and once I told her no, she looked relieved and told me how she couldn’t believe how rude he was, by just sitting there and laughing.

In that moment, I did not want to go back out there. I texted my mom and asked her to call me in the next 5 to 10 minutes telling me I need to come home. YES. I asked my Mom to save me from the most awkward date of my life. For some reason I attract the men who just love to laugh at the craziest things.

Moral of the story: Always talk on the phone or facetime before actually meeting the person. In all honesty, a voice says a lot about a person and can change your whole outlook on someone. Oh If he starts talking about other dates he has been on where there were no second ones, just get up and walk out.

Marineman

While reading this story I want you to picture the “Marineman.” This is a great representation of what this guy looked like. HA.  So we talked for about a three weeks before we actually met. (The Saturday after Thanksgiving to be exact) We would facetime all the time, so it did not feel weird going over to his apartment that night. Everything was going very smoothly and we hung out a couple times after that as well. I thought he was a real gentleman. For instance, when we would go 1538680-marineman_0001out, he actually opened the car door for me. Not just on dates but also when we would come back to the car after leaving a convenient store.

It wasn’t until a couple weeks later, I was going to TBOX, which is a big Christmas bar crawl in Chicago, while he was going to drill. (He was a Marine) After this weekend I realized I was GHOSTED.. you know where everything seems to being well and then all of sudden the other person just falls off the face of the earth without a word. No idea why.

So I waited about five days to text him and ask, why he “ghosted” me.  His response “I didn’t ghost you. I just didn’t know what to say.” <— DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. (rolling me eyes) How about be a man and speak your mind, you’re 26 for God sake. After he responded,  I never answered him back. Not wasting my time, trying to justify your response.

SO THE GHOST-ER HAS BEEN GHOSTED HIMSELF.

Mr. Nasty 

So if you really want to know what someone looks like just ask them for their snapchat, right? That way you basically know 1) they are real 2) not catfishing you 3) they aren’t some creepy old dude pretending to be a 20 year old guy. 

Well I gave this dude my snapchat .. I should have known right from the start he was going to some sort of freak just by his snapchat name. (Had the word “nasty” in it) The conversation starts with him wanting a picture of me to wanting me to contribute to his fetish … 

Yes I screenshot it because I could not believe this dude was serious. We maybe said like a handful of words to each other and then thinks it’s appropriate to ask for a picture of my feet. HAHA 

If you ever experience a dude with a weird fetish.. how would you handle the situation? If you’ve never met him. I was joking around with him but I just couldn’t handle it anymore, to point where it was necessary to block him.  

The Man With too Many Giggles

Back in September, I went I my very first Tinder date.. now I don’t know if you call going to your local Durbin’s Bar a date, but that is where we went. Mind you, he also picked me up in a baby blue Chrysler.. which in my opinion is a total girl car. RED FLAG. Let’s talk about his outfit: Nike shirt.. like the word “NIKE” written across his chest. Great first impression dude.

Now we get to the bar and we order drinks.. he got a Budlight & I got a Coors. So your basic beer, nothing crazy. As we are sitting there, talking about life.. I guess. He just begins to laugh.. by laugh I mean fidget awkwardly and kept playing with his ears, while basically sitting on the edge of his chair. Mind you I was just sitting here, very calm, trying to understand how to interpret this dudes behavior. I don’t know if it was just the one beer he had, that made him “feel some type of way.” I know I was not feeling this date anymore and wanted a ONE WAY ticket out of there.

My friends told me that maybe he was just nervous. Yes he could have been nervous but it wasn’t like he was doing all that fidgeting at the beginning of the night but towards the end it was unstoppable. I know when I’m nervous, I talk a lot more and talk by gesturing my hands a lot more. I am not an awkward person.. if anything I am the one who will keep the conversation going. Needless to say, there was no second date.

If you ever experience a date or a situation with a dude who giggles after everything you say.. RUN.

Future Tinder go-ers, here is a piece of advice when meeting a guy: drive to the destination separate so that if it really is that awful, you can come up with an excuse to get out of there!